1. |
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You were the first to the DMV
And we would all pile in with no plan or direction
Searching for something born in the books we'd read
And grown in the glow of the theatre
And I was maybe 14 at the time
All stock and nerves and poorly veiled insecurity
And looking back, man
It meant so much that you would even want me along
And I remember all those weekend nights
There was so much possibility
We could spend a whole night just deciding on a thing to do
Never doing anything
And I remember driving in your car
Soaking the sound
of other generations' radio stations
And waiting, hoping one day
That we would find our own
Our lives weren't laid out for us
We hadn't started to dig that hole
Like our parents before us
We had no idea at all
We thought we could make the world outside more like the one we'd built inside our heads
We found our own way
Still, this path seems a little worn
When we got the call that you were gonna leave
It sounded so strange, like we had heard it before
Like it was hid in the background of
all those songs we loved
Like the hum of a fender guitar
And it all seemed so familiar
Like we had known all along
That all our best made plans
Were just a drop of sweat to the sea
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2. |
Team Britta
02:16
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I woke up early but went back to sleep
It's 1pm, I'm finally on my feet
Sprawled out in front of me
a half a dozen books half read
One on gardening but all my plants are dead
My good intentions buried in the dirt still under my nails
I meant to read the next chapter
Went out drinking instead
I meant to be better than I was yesterday
But I'm still sleeping off last night
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3. |
Indoor Kids
01:42
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I spent an hour and a half drawing a picture of my bike
while my daughter watched "Lady and the Tramp"
Instead of riding it
Instead of taking my girl outside
The perspective was a little off
But the shading was really on point
I could stare at all this beauty until I died of malnutrition
I could sit in an ecstatic silence just taking in the world
But I feel like I am a little kid in a big department store
Trying not to look lost when all these conversations take on the slightest weight
I'm in a cave with a giant penny. a shattered childhood. a mecha T-Rex.
I'm in my head with a song again
But I know I should be here with you now
when I'm tired
eating dinner in silence
It's just some nights I can't sleep for thinking about Batman
I can't think for thinking about The Clash
Sometimes, pinball
And I know it makes you mad
I'm always staring at my phone
When everything's in front of me
But everything can be overwhelming
And I know that I shut down
But I'll try to harder to be here
I swear to you, I'm right here with you now
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4. |
Words, You Know?
01:59
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There’s been radio silence for weeks now
And I can only call so much
Whether I’ve made my own messes
tied both my own hands
Or simply been left in the dark
Are left to things that I cannot comprehend
Could you do me the decency of spelling it out to me?
I don’t mind some grey, but could we temporarily focus on a shade
I know you’re preoccupied, surrounding yourself with mirrors
But everyone has to grow up sometime, and I can’t seem to decide
who was left behind
You could never be still for long
And I’m good at being stone
But though I want to keep pace,
My fingers grow numb
Could you please speak up?
I can't see what you can
Could you have some guts?
I wish I did
I can’t forget, my brain is slowly sinking my heart
I’d rather sail away, than tread this winding path
I thought this was where I wanted to be
But my hands have become fists
I never thought it’d be like this
You let me down
and I know you’re fine
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5. |
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Drew back a breath and then I picked up the phone
I always try to be polite
I know that I can be soft spoken
And I know it doesn't change a thing about who or what I am
But about 8 times out of 10 they call me ma'am
And sometimes when I feel brave
I lower my voice so they know they were mistaken
But most times I just get real nervous
and try to get through it before they notice.
I know I'm a doctor
But I'm scared to see the doctor
because I know all of the tests they'd run
And the unhealthy way I'm living
would be filed and documented
and I'd be made to stand for all the shit I've done
Because once you get results there's no more lying to yourself like you've got time
That you'll get yourself together
You'll be better than than you are
when things slow down
We all fucking know by now things don't slow down
I grew up in the light or in the shadow of a light
of someone I was told would always act in love
Then I grew up in a world that is so heartbreakingly broken
I don't know what to believe in anymore
But sometimes when I'm afraid
I lower my head
And send out hope for something better
But most times it feels like
I sent a message in a bottle
Into an ocean with no direction
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6. |
Bear Necessities
02:27
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On the drive home there was no music
Because I didn't want to hear anything
But the ringing in my ears
The rain on the glass
And the sound of the past few hours
Because what could compare to what happened
Dripping in sweat from head to toe
And as we stepped into the summer rain
I remember
A girl was dancing to my right
My face raised to the heavens
Walked to the car arm-in-arm
with my best friends
They were riding on the high too
From the top of the rafters
To the indie kids dancing on the floor
So now I'm sitting here
Humming along to the ringing in my ears
Woah.
And I can't explain what happened here tonight
But I know that it felt right
Yeah I know it felt all right
My face raised to the heavens
Walked to the car arm-in-arm
with my best friends
They were riding on the high too
From the top of the rafters
To the indie kids dancing on the floor
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7. |
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This skin, it used to cling to me
Like a young love
Like a shirt outgrown
Now when I move it's not a simple thing
All creaks and shadows of a former grace
I want to run but i don't have the breath
Senses are dull but I remember the taste
Of you that summer like a lucid dream
The light reflected off the tv screen
Your mother's living room, we made our plans
We never stood a chance
When I used to run
A fire in my bones
The burn let me know I was building something
Now I'm laying down
So selfish and free
But I'm not the person I thought I'd be
All those parts of me you cared about never died
They just pack up and leave
I get their baggage in the mail sometimes, when they get lost in between flights
So now I'm boarding a train
with a map pieced together from postcards, luggage tags, and itineraries
I'll pull myself together
And when I arrive
New lines on my face from the sun and the road and the spray of the ocean,
you'll say, "There you are, sweet boy
Just the way I remembered."
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8. |
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I’m feeling cold, and caught up in this
All these little details, clog my synapses
And all the words I wish I never said
All the things I wish I had, follow me around
I’d be on my way over state lines
If I thought there were some answers to find
Oh, anywhere out there
anything to set forth this calm
Everyone thinks they have the worst sicknesses
Everyone thinks they are the worst off
But the hands of time spare no one
So spare me this static and pick me up
We'll sing our harmonies and clap our hands
We’ll find the rhythm yet
I’d be on my way over state lines
anything to set forth this calm
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9. |
Space
00:46
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I swear I walked into this room in a good mood
With nothing but fondness for you
But now the temperature keeps dropping
Every time I try to talk
And in the awkward silence I can hear
my feet crunching snow
Don't know what I'll get
A gentle breeze or the coming storm
But we don't talk about the weather
Though we're sunk in standing water
I can't seem to shake the feeling we should
Swim in opposite directions
Until our arms and legs give out
We'll wash up in different countries
Take our time make it back
I'll take odd jobs in the village
You'll get work in some cafe
Until we save enough to fly back home
And see each other again
Maybe then we can have a pleasant conversation
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10. |
Oh, Hi
01:26
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I see a man sitting across from me
Wrinkles on his forehead
Maybe he’s just passing time like the rest of us
You say it’s foggy, I say we’re among the clouds
Sometimes I just want there to be more to the story
Say these words and know that you mean them
I want to know all the stories around me
I want to walk in someone else’s shoes
My own feet lead me nowhere
I want something more than meets the eye
These nerves are surging through me again
The electricity that carries me
These wonders grab ahold
I can’t help but want to believe
I want more than shallow views of deep blue water
I want to try for more than good enough
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11. |
The Hassencahl Stomp
02:14
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She had a treble clef on her chest
And on the staff she had the melody to "Judy Is A Punk"
And when her parents and her friends asked about it she said
"Oh, I don't know why"
You know, I really don't know why
I guess that I just want to feel something
as strongly as I did when I was young
That all this sound isn't just noise
That all those words weren't decoys
And I just want to feel something
That let's me know I'm not the only one
Because all this shit is just toys
And all these men are just boys
But when we're all in tune something feels right
And I feel a lightness around me
Where i thought I only felt a weight.
And all of these people around me
We hurt but we're going to be ok
We'll build something better
We're all just making the same sounds
But we're making them together
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12. |
We Drove The Van
01:46
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How do you throw out your old junk, cleaning out your room or your car?
I’ve always had such a hard time
forgetting their history
Like reading a book that you used to love
We’ve been searching for replacements
to things that we’ll never find again
So I’ll keep this Boston shirt long after it doesn’t fit
How do you make room
for something new to grow?
All these intricate connections
may not affect you at all
But they cost me so
And when I feel it, I feel it
When I'm singing Spider Song with you
It's heavy in the core of my stomach
I’m so glad you’re right beside me
I’ve got my brothers and sisters here with me
The temporary has taken our hearts tonight
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